Read the Label

One of the exciting things about travel is communication, both the written and spoken words of a language.  I remember buying what I thought was milk, and couldn't figure out why the coffee kept curdling.... it was buttermilk.  In Italy, I needed Skin Relief.  So I chose an Aveeno product promising relief, and even had calendula..  sounded like a nice healthy addition... Upon returning to the flat, I opened my Aveeno package, and noticed something wasn't right.... consistency for one thing.  I looked closer, and wondered why skin cream would be certified by the Italian Institute of Gynecology.... bought Intimate Skin Relief, for body parts I don't have....

So what to do... Leave it in the flat or take it back.... We can take anything back to the store in America.... and today I did.  The clerk in the Hygeine section of the mega grocery in the mall looked at me and acknowledged that I did indeed purchase the wrong product... For me.... And to return it, management approval was needed. Please, Do Not Pick Up that microphone and say "We need approval for a douche return on Aisle 3"... Then the clerk next to her wanted to know what would a handsome traveller be returning to the Hygeine section... So now I have two clerks and a manager involved and a queue of people wondering what the problem was... I'll never see these people again, I say to myself.... Let's just say I now have Aveeno Colloidal Moisturizing Cream... The labeling is in French, Italian, German, and Spanish.... and no reference to gyno certification.... So I'm going to lather it on tonight.

However, to keep the body functioning with the onslaught of pizza, pasta, sugar, and butterfat content (the diet of champions here) I also selected a product that the clerk suggested ) a product (gas or non-gas is usually a question reserved for your water order at dinner)... Perhaps now would be the opportune time to ask for blue pills and condoms too.... The directions are so small and in a foreign language <gasp> that I've now either told my body to process like an Autostrade (fast highway) or a small country road under construction.  TMI.

On Friday there was no blog because all we had to report is that we did some laundry, read a book, took a nap, bought some socks, and returned to the Trattoria for more simple, delicious Italian fare... Cheesy Spinach, Cotoleto Milanese, Meringata, and some more Italian lessons from our hostess.... Downtime from a busy vacation 😵